A New Year Advice - To the IT Team

Ladies and Gentlemen !!
Do unit testing.

If I could offer you only one tip for the successful New Year, unit testing would be it
Long-term benefits of unit testing have been proved by IT evangelists

Whereas the rest of my new year advice has no basis more reliable
than any politician's election manifesto.

Wear an ugly shirt to work
It distracts people more than the defects in the work delivered.

Work as team
To avoid being that single answerable person

Love your peers. Love their leers and sneers.
Someday they might be your guardian angel for deadline nightmare.

Don't quit when work gets tiring
Grin as smile stays between ears.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Document.

Don't waste your time on Facebook
Remember compliments you receive, forget the escalations,
if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Read the HLD even if you don't follow them
Try to update LLD before you code them.

Accept certain inalienable truths
Modules come and go
But a precious few work across releases.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and budget.
The older you get, the more you need to work on excel sheets.

Never mess too much with your code
Instead of 30 you will end up with 70 defects.

Be patient whose advice you buy
And be careful with those who supply it
But trust me on the Unit Testing.

** Inspired by Sunscreen song 

Phokat Observation.

Just a Phokat Observation
**** Just Phokat as usual *****

The Devil in me

The devil in me
Feeds on the ego
While smiling at the chaos

The devil in me
blends in with my shadow
clouds my future fallow

The devil in me
Yields me to my dark temptations
with raging alluring distractions

That wasn't me in my control
The bitter sweet fascinations of life
I am still in love with
The devil in me

How my weekends are spent

After Lunch:
May be I should write something. may be

14:00
May be .. May be write a blog.

15:00
May be I should just read some blogs.

15:30
May be I should do something better.. read a book may be

16:00
which book? may be this one.. nopes not this.. couldnt cross the 2nd chapter.
How about this.. nah too much drama. sleepy. How about this..
Naahhh
May be I should just read the newspaper

16:10
Main paper is too boring.. supplement may be..
haaaaa.. TV Schedule on page 2.
Castle at 16:00.. TV here I come.

How I kept up my 2013 resolutions

1. Start Each day with enthusiasm

          Yup started each day with a bang and then a banging head ache.

This year I am going to set the alarm ringtone to some song starting with "Enthusiasm"

2. Be super happy with what you have

          Yup I am happy with my thinning hair. Yup Super duper happy.        

3. Improve Vocabulary

Spent hours browsing through Imgur to understand the jokes on "your and you are and ur".

          Wonderful learning indeed. You should try reading them sometime.

4. Maintain weight

Losing weight is hard. So maintaining weight is much easier.  So even after i put on 10 kgs, I try to maintain it.

          Hard Task. But yes I am still maintaining it.

5. Read those books

Going through a the last 2 pages of that book, damn I dont remember the name of that book. Yeah I did read those 2 pages to see if I had noted down the phone number of the pest control guy there.

6. Start Driving

          I did drive the car which was parked on the tow truck. Dint I ?

7. Spend less time in front of computer

Bought a new tab. spent rest of the hours on the tab. Now I spend only office hours on laptop.

8. Meet new people.

Spoke to that officer in Mumbai international terminal coz i wanted a luggage trolley. This counts right. Yeah it does.

9. Learn something new

Never wear a stiletto to a new office building before you know what kind of carpet / flooring they have. Never I say... Never

10. Complete everything which I ever start

Completed watching Twilight Saga - Breaking Dawn Part 2.  You know it is such a difficult task to watch all three parts, just because you watched part 1 and you have to stick to your resolution. Go through it and you will know the pain.

Based on my 2013 experience , I have decided to keep my 2014 resolution very simple:

"Become a Ghost Hunter"

So easy to achieve this I say. Come back near year to know my Ghost hunting experiences

What! You too weird? I thought I was the only one.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 
‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’ - C.S. Lewis

And I have a few good friends to whom I have said 
"OMG.. you too this weird.. hehehe.. come on Gimme Company" 

Cheers to all my weird friends from all over.. coz I know we respect each other's nonsense. 

Job Hunt?!!? Who is the Troll???

drrrrr drrrrrr (((( )))) vdrrrrr drrrrrr (((( )))) drrrrr drrrrrr (((( )))) 

Thanks to vibrate mode of the phone.. the whole cubicle vibrated.

She: Helllo 
He: Hello 
She: yes Please
He: I am calling from  (insert a well know MNC name starting with CAP)
She: hmmm... Sorry. I am not looking for a job change right now 
He: No No. Am I talking to Ms. She? 
She: Yes its me here. But I am not looking for a change of job right. I am not interested now.
He: I am calling from because you have raised a request.. 
She: Request? Reference? What is the position?
He: No No .. I am calling from (insert Client name)  IT Help desk. (insert a well know MNC name starting with CAP) handles IT help desk of (insert Client name) 
She: OHHHOOOOO $$$%##&^*(^(*(*
He: You had raised a request that 1ton server is not accessible. can you please access it now and confirm please. 
She: SORRY.. .. I am able to login now.
He: Thanks. Thanks for logging in request on portal. 

Now.. tell me who is the troll? He or She? 

Dear Friends .. I hate you

Many would say that if tomorrow is the end of the world, tell people how much you love them.

But I would say, tell people how much you hated them, coz you have lived all your life acting to be nice to them and dealing with them everyday. Before we die we deserve to have that peace of mind which comes from yelling at someone. 

So here is my list  .. My Hate list

Dear Sasikala , 3rd Std B section, Stealing my pencil with rubber head was not good. Pinching me and making me sit at the end of the table while you occupied the whole seat were barbaric acts. I hate you. 

Dear Chandrasekar , 5th Std A section, telling my cousin brother that I cried in the class (for the reason I don't remember now) was very uncool. you broke all laws of friendship. I hate you.

Dear Nandini and Nirmala , 7th std x section, asking "When did Gandhiji kick the bucket?" in the class history quiz was cheating and was against rules. Your father may have been an English professor but you cannot expect the whole class to understand "kick the bucket". 

My team lost because of this question. I hate you. 

Dear Pavithra , 8th Std A section, you were my best friend when I joined Boston. your grey big eyes were always questioning me.. but i don't remember those questions now. you were quite intimidating . don't know why. still we sat together in all classes for one whole year!! 

Dear Mahalakshmi Ma'am , beating me with scale for scoring 99 for losing 100 by one mark, coz Karthik from 12B was able to score 100, was an atrocity. I suffered from performance anxiety for long time. 

Dear Priya and Pragan (9th std to 12th std) and Kavitha (4yrs BE) 

you girls were and are beautiful. I was always with you girls during school and college. The ugly duckling in me was sad sometimes as you all hogged all the limelight all the time. 

Dear AP@#*&^* , you are a bitch. 

Dear ex-colleagues, taking me for granted that I will work late hours coz you missed the requiremenmts of that module and dumping the work on me .. was WRONG. You will be fried in hell day after tomorrow.

Dear Santhosh .. Stop reading my FB posts and blog posts for finding grammatical errors.  :P 

Dear All my FB friends.. When I say I broke my leg.. stop "like"ing it. 

Dear  everyone who called me as "Preeth" or "Preethey".. Mt. everest will come rolling and fall on your head if tomorrow is the doomsday. 

Dear Husband. "HMMM" is not the reply I expect when I complain of bursting head ache. 

Dear Preethe.. Yeah you. Get a life. Snap out of the anger . Stop writing crap and start living. 

HAAAA.. such a relief. I can rest in peace now. 

Good bye friends for now. See you after doomsday.

I am going to get so drunk tomorrow that I would know that the world ended when I meet you all in HELL. 

Lets go paint Hell red. 

Girls... Kavitha, Priya.. I love you both.. you both still rock!

The new murphy law

If the possibility exists of several body parts itching,
The one that will itch the most
Will itch like hell
While playing temple run

Down the Memory Lane

Past is a desolated castle
Search for the forgotten
Ends in the dim lit memory lane
Echoes of giggles
Whispers of deadly screams
Pierces the mist
The white light on the mirror
The familar forgotten face
The silence, the pain
And the image that looked
A lot more fat....

Zindagi, Dogs, Politics, Payment, Walk and Ipod

Early morning walk around the lake always prepares me to face the day and all its atrocities.
I was walking with my thoughts pregnant about the movie which I saw yesterday "Zindagi Nah Milegi Dobara".

Something inside me kept repeating these lines from the movie
               Dilon mein tum apni
               Betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho
               Toh zinda ho tum
               Nazar mein khwabon ki
               Bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
               Toh zinda ho tum

I usually see a small girl playing with 3 dogs. She must be the daughter of some building construction worker. Today she was missing but the dogs were running around and  barking. That is when I noticed there were 2 new dogs in the locality and these 3 dogs were barking at those 2 intruders displaying territorial threat. In a very strange way this reminded me of politicians and their election speeches. I made a mental mode of using this as an example to explain the concept of "survival of the fittest" to my son as I walked away from that place.

In the midst of the silence around the lake and a fading dog barks.. I heard this man talking very loud on cell phone. His teenage slightly obese daughter accompanies him everyday. Today she was walking a few yards behind him allowing her dad to attend the phone call. I could hear him shouting "Ghar aaoge? Dhamki dhena math. Kya meine payment dhene se inkar kiya?"   I walked past his daughter. I glanced at her to smile as I usually do and noticed her moist eyes.
I could not do much but think of lines from "Zindagi Nah Milegi Dobara" 
              Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya
              Jab ghum ka saya lehraya
              Jab aansoo palkon tak aya
              Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya
              Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya
              Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai
              Duniya mein yunhi hota hai

A realization.. people around me also have life and pain. they are not just lurkers in the movie where me and my family are the main characters. 

And then I saw that handsome lady who jogs in the cricket ground next to lake. She was leaving the ground and I saw her come to the pavement where the bikes are parked.  She then took out her key and started that Thunderbird Big bike. All these days I was thinking that this thunderbird belonged to that bald man who sits on the bench near the lake and smokes!!  That old man in long white kurta over a grey formal trouser was sitting in a different bench and not on the bench near the boat.

So many observations in a day!! thats when I realized another thing. Sometimes we are too engrossed or afraid to switch off and look up from our iPhones / iPod to see the reality.  I remembered my Srivats's words "We should switch off the lights to see the stars". 

Yielding to Temptation

I had been wanting you ever since I saw you on TV.

I saw you in the market the other day.

You looked so inviting. I wanted to have you.

Felt guilty, coz I had been loyal all these years. I felt torn.

But I just could not control myself any longer.

You came with a price. But I thought you were worth it.

I had you in my hands. The moment you touched my lips.. eeeekssssssss.. you tasted burnt.

Dear Oreo biscuits .. you suck.

Dear Bourbon Biscuits .. you are always the best. And I love you so

Work Life Balance .. Gender Equality .. Blah Blah Blah

Let me tell you one big rude truth ..
We are not equal to Men.. And we can never be.
Now Now now .. Don't barge to attack.. Continue reading

What do you want to balance?? Work and life??
And why does this discussion happen only with respect to female crowd??
Doesn't our spouse , brother , male colleague or friend also have the same balance to strike?

Work and Life .. complement each other.

So Ladies .. Listen..

Stop rushing .. You will see
the same moon tonight wherever you go!

Prioritize ..
You can never be in two places at the same time.
So stop cribbing about missing an important meeting while at home.
And stop worrying about not playing book cricket with your son while attending your conference call.

Be present.. 100%
You cannot give anything more than 100%.
Can you fill 2 litre in a 1 litre pepsi bottle? No
But yes you can give 100% for every moment
So be at home or work .. give it 100% for that moment.

Sometimes You are ahead, sometimes You are behind,
The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Dont try too hard .. we are all super Women in our own simple ways.

On the lighter note..

Pray
Pray God for patience
Pray God that your husband finds his lost favorite T-shirt in the the same draw rather than yelling for you
Pray God that your kid finishes his/her breakfast without throwing a tantrum

And now remember we are not equal to men..
We can attain that equality only if we can walk on the street with messed hair .. pot belly and still think we are attractive

Reblog dreamer

I had to reblog this.

And .. more interesting fact is that .. Dream did continue when I slept :P

via

Poem - Naive Attempt

I tried editing, re-alligning and adding few words to the poem from "Before Sunrise".. Or in other words .. "Inspired" by Before SunRise :P

Oh Dear..
Do I know you?

You are my delusion angel
In a fantasy parade
In life's dark tunnel
In Deluding vibrant colors

I want to know what you think
I dont want to guess anymore

I know where I came from
Do you have an idea where I am going?

Oh Dear..
You are my delusion angel .. my Future..
Be as pretty as you seem to be

Gils' Tag!!

A Tag after a long gap!!
Picked it up from Gils

How it goes :

a. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, IPOD etc. on shuffle.
b. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
c. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
d. Tag friends.


If someone asks you, "are you okay" you say:
All I have to give - back street boys ( ohh no .. pathetic)

2. How would you describe yourself ?
As long as you love me - back street boys (no .. not again )

3. What do you like in a guy/girl ?
Every body - back street boys (hahaahaa) ( awwwsome :: Now throw your hands up in the air And wave them around like you just dont care)

4. How do you feel today ?
Thoda Thoda malardha dhenna - Indra ( so sweet)

5. What is your life's purpose ?
hello mister edhir katchi - Iruvar (onnume puriyala)

6. What's your motto ?
ishq bina kya jeena yaron (bhooooooooooooo)

7. What do your friends think of you ?
O Bhavre Dekho In Deewano Ko - Daud ( Oh My God)

8. What do your parents think of you ?
kya karen kya na karen yeh kaise mushkil - rangeela (ayoooo)

9. What do you think of often ?
Jaan meri jaa rahi sanam - Lucky ( perfect)

10. What is 2 + 2 ?
Bhage Re mann mera - Kareena's Chameli ( I just love this song and maths too)

11. What do you think of your best friend ?
I will make love to you - BoyZ II man (kadavule.,.. )

12. What is your life story ?
You flew away - Boyzone (orey tragedya irukku)

13. What do you want to be when you grow up ?
Dancing in the Dark - BRUCE Springsteen (I give up)

14. What do you think when you see the person you like ?
Roop Tera Mastana (WOW)

15. What will you dance to at your wedding ?
Come on Over baby -Christine Aguilera

16. What will they play at your funeral ?
Leaving on a jet plane - Armageddon ( LOL)

17. What is your hobby/interest ?
Lipstick on your collar - Connie Francis ( kadavule .. what is this)

18. What is your biggest fear ?
When Love And Hate Collide - Def Leppard (beautiful song)

19. What is your biggest secret ?
Jumpin Jumpin - destiny's child (ayyo .. something is really wrong)

20. What do you want right now ?
Starry Starry night - Don Mclean (thats great)

21. What do you think of your friends ?
I love you always forever - Donna Lewis ( superb)

22. When you want to rush to the toilet, what do you think ?
Sacrifice - Elton John ( thats awwwwfulll)

23. The person you hate the most is in front of you, what will you tell the person ?
love is all around (four weddings and a funeral) (ohh God !! )

24. You have just won a lottery. What will you sing ?
Last Christmas - George Michael (a wonderful song)

25. What will you post this as?
Aint it funny - JLo

Thank God !! Its over..
It was quite a big tragedy :(

tagging
1. Goush
2. Bhuvi
3. Kiran (ones and Zeros)

Happy Pongal!!

uuuff...That was a long gap!!
10 days .. And I dindt have access to my blog!!
Missed it so much..

Last 5 days were worst. I was ordered to sit inside a room for straight 7 hours everyday!! And the worst part was... I was forced to hear someone who was non coherently uttering some nonsense. I hope you would gave guessed it by now.. Yup!! I was attending a training. Trained in yet another new DW tool called OBIEE. And I had a great time fighting with the trainer (full story reserved for a seperate post).

Anyways .. enough of my ramblings..
Happy Pongal to all of you !!
Happy Maattu pongal to all maakkals

Happy Holidays!!!

What is Data Warehouse?

When somebody asks me this question, I would be giving the most repeated answer which you will find on any DW textbook or DW site. The answers are:

consistent store of relevant data for reporting
Store of data for analysing the business.

When the same question was asked to a set of freshers in my team, there came a rush of multiple intresting, rib tickling answers..

Warehouse which stores data is called data warehouse.
Data in the warehouse is called data warehouse
A warehouse full of data.
Basically theoretically conceptually usually it is a relational database like RDBMS. Datawarehouse - enakku laddu aana avarukku boondhiya theriyudhu (meaning Concept of DW differs from person to person)
Datawarehouse - Saravana storela poyi car bomma vaangalam aana car vaanga mudiyadhu. (meaning Adhoc queries are not really adhoc)
Finally .. concludingly.. Net netDatawarehouse is all about dabbas (showing the architecture diagram - dabbas all servers )
OLTP and OLAP rendum goodsu vandiyum express trainum maadhiri.

All these wonderful dialogues came up during a datawarehouse knowledge sharing session. All freshers entered the conference room well prepared for the discussion. Similar to Vadivelu's dialogue ‘enga aNNan karunchiruthai parambarai. Bus la kambi pidikaama dhaan povaar’, these guys said, "naanga ellarum IT pasanga. Conferencekku nettu irundhu definitions download pannithan varuvom" .

one team member was asked to present the DW concepts. I could clearly read her thoughts. It said "ennai vetchu comedy keemady pannaliye"

After the session, the person who took the presentation looked very enthusiatic. To quote the person ... (to be read in Vadivelu style in the movie Giri)

Oru paththu peru enna 12th floorla irunthu 2nd floorkku oru liftulu iluththundu oru conference roomukku ponanga. Anga room nadula nikkavechu question questionaa kettanga. enna kekkaranga edukku kettangannu onnume puriyala. Aana ella questionnukkum answer pannen. kadaiseela oruththar sonar .. neenga romba nallavaru. Unga presentation romba nalla irukku. evvalavu kettalum answer pannareenga"

Financial Meltdown!!

Guys!!

Look at how finacial meltdown has helped us

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