When insults had class

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“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

– Winston Churchill

 

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with  great pleasure.”

– Clarence Darrow

 

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 

”I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”

– Groucho Marx

 

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

– Mark Twain

 

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”

– Oscar Wilde

 

”I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend if you have one.”

– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second….. if there is one.”

– Winston Churchill to Shaw, in response

 

”I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”

– Stephen Bishop

 

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”

– John Bright

 

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial”

– Irvin S. Cobb

 

”He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.

– Samuel Johnson

 

”He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”

– Paul Keating

 

“He had delusions of adequacy.”

– Walter Kerr

 

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

– Mark Twain

 

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

– Mae West

 

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

– Oscar Wilde

 

Woman to Churchill. “If you were my husband, I’d give you poison.”

Churchill replied “If you were my wife, madam, I’d take it.”