Tongue Tied Rodeo

My verbal skills? 

A wild rodeo,

Words bounce, 

wont nicely flow.

Grammar is a puzzle, 

missing most bits

Fluent in nonsense, 

with perfect misfits!

Make your way

Comfort that silences question 

Becomes control.

The soft hand smothers

Becomes death grip.

Break the spell

Defy the charm

Only the shattered chain

Can claim the freedom whole

Know your worth

External validation

When we question our worth

In someone else's world

Without it, we shrink

To fit their view

But those who care

Don't need reminders

They reach out, check in

And show they truly see

Healing starts when we stop

Performing for attention

And preserve our energy

For love that's genuine

Heart vs Brain - again

Lust promises power

And delivers dominance

Love promises understanding

And delivers acceptance

Lust craves possession

And delivers aggression 

Love seeks connection

And delivers assertion

Lust fuels obsession

And delivers depression

Love fosters affection

And delivers direction

But this brain still chases fleeting highs

And ignores the heart's silent sighs

Find your value of X

"Iol" 

is this LOL or 

The absolute value of zero?

How did you read it?

Is your engineer self at loss?

Or your calculus mind dint floss?

In the world of interjections

Take a pause

Integrate yourself 

Differentiating the rest

Find your value of X

And let your true self manifest.

Successfully butchered it!! 

Hope - again

Hope is a habit 

We can't break

Its a gentle reminder 

That better is near

Losses

I have lost 

people in my life

some to death

many to my 

sheer inability 

to cross the street.

Losses accumulated

like autumn's fall

Some to eternity's silence

others to silence's wall.

I remained, rooted in place.

The distance between

a heavy, hollow space.

Old Love

She believed in old love, and only in old love. 

She yearned for old love, like she yearned for her morning coffee- out of habit, a comfort which made life worth living.

Her old love rode with her on the imaginary trams that crisscrossed the main throughways of the city.

Her old love held her hand while she travelled in cab, and pecked her cheeks before she reached destination.

Her old love was memories tightly knit by steady hands which believed that they will be well worn, with tales of their own to tell those came after.

Her old love was one in the morning, when there were no horns or dogs barking, when old rusty air conditioners gritted and grated their teeth in faux poetry.

Her old love was a sultry hot Sunday afternoon, lazy, contently fed, sparsely clothed, and rhythmic snores which tickled if you lay close enough.

Her old love was that whiskey bottle- lost in some forgotten corner, half-remembered on Saturday nights.

Her old love was the song from the eighties which shed its age and is shy to move in half-steps.

Her old love was letters written in cursive with haphazardly scribed words- intended to be a quip, but were adage to angst and hope.

Her old love was the poems that remain unread, stocked and locked in heavy cupboards with moth balls, lest they be pried, even if unintended.

Her old love was a name, firmly said, with no half vowels, and consonants which stirred storms in antique tea sets.

Her old love was a hard trek up the hill of ancient stones, carved to mean, to be, but now in ruins, except for those eyes, which still seem to see.

Her old love was a sketch which still she held, a t-shirt she still wore, a laughter she heard, tears that were left unshed.

Old love, where a hug was a cuddle, a kiss that stopped time, silences, words that said themselves.

Her old love felt salty on the sides of her tongue, never spoken, but never forgotten.

Her old love was a dream, which she wished was a memory.

Her old love she held like a phantom limb, never seen, but always felt.

Heart vs Brain

"Who gains a minute of life by worrying?"

So, says the brain..

While the heart's relentless screams,

Havoc squeams.

In this discord, where logic meets fear,

A rigid inertia holds us dear.

The mind's calm voice, a whispered plea,

Against the heart's turbulent sea.

Back.. I hope so..

I collect memories like others collect plastic covers – with love, care, and a hint of chaos.

Some are neatly folded, others are comfortable like a soft cotton old tshirt, and a few are stuck in the crevices of my mind, crumpled and distorded.

But they're all mine, and I'll preserve them like a hoarder preserves , obsessively.

Infinity of Nothingness

No Words
Only Silences my own
No Dreams
Only unrelated thoughts
No memories
Only Phantom feelings
Just Me
Infinity of nothingness

Middle Management Struggles -Part 2

How meetings between middle management (MM) and upper management (UM) go 

MM: sabzi is ready. All we need to do now is make chappathi 

UM: why Chappathi. You need to make poori to give the wow factor to the users 

MM: but we don't have time to make so many poori. Btw.. Chappathi is healthy . 

UM: no. poori it is.. let's divide the work. You roll the poori and I will fry them 

MM: Okies. Thanks for sharing the work.. here you go.. you can fry these 2 

UM: (frying 1st poori.. it stays flat).. you haven't rolled poori uniformly. You need to add that skill to your development plan 

(frying 2nd poori.. it puffs).. this is how you do it.. I turned the poori over at correct time and made it puff 

MM: but I did roll this poori well.. pls acknowledge and recognize that. 

UM: huh.. but i fried it.. it puffed coz i fried it. 

Takeaway: if the UM decides to screw you.. you get the poori rt.. 

Struggles of Middle Management

How meetings between the middle management (MM) and upper management (UM) go..
UM : this meeting is to understand all your pain points and challenges.
MM: (cries his/her heart out) thanks a lot for your time .
UM: i understand your concern. Can you please put all these in an excel and assign priority and timeline to each item
MM: (highly excited that their issues are getting heard) done and shared . Thanks a lot.
UM: I have assigned those issues to you as your performance goals for this year. Your target would be to fix all priority 1 items by end of Q2.
MM:   SWOONS..

Just one more

Life is a series of "one mores"
Add up all these "one mores"
They will equal our life time.

One more cry leading to smiles
One more bedtime story
One more candy
One more final exam

One more kiss
One more heartbreak
One more opportunity
One more win

Every one more new moment
searching for
One more new path

Till the last one more breath

Love , a memory.. not a dream.

Love is not just kisses
It's also silences
And the words that said themselves.
It's holding hands
While crossing a busy road.
It's a peck on your cheek
Before you get dropped at your destination.

Love is not just cuddles
It's the smell of the coffee
That awakens you in the mornings.
Its the bottle of scotch
Waiting for you, to be opened.
It's the memory brought
By the old song from 90s.

Love is not just gifts and roses
It's the old tshirt
Someone saved for you
for the comfort of summer.
It's old love letters
Stashed away by angst.
Its your name being said
With a smile or a moan.

Just live

Glorify every passing moment
As death is the only certainty of life.
No grandeur can last longer
than the last breath.
People measure us
By everything we didn't do.
You be sure to measure it
By the moments that brought you alive.
Our memories are ours.
To the rest they are but stories
and tales, a once upon a time.
Glorify every passing moment
Make every breath a grandeur memory

An empty wardrobe called heart

An empty heart
It looks so bare
I remember all those feelings
Which hanged in there

Serene bliss of smelling kid's hair
Feeling at home in loved ones arm
Now searching for these comforts
I remember holding them close to heart.

Joy and pride of small victories
Urge to do more after every setback
Where did these motivations go
I remember nurturing the broken heart.

Emptiness after reading a good book Trickling tears watching sad endings
Did I lock these up in a wardrobe
Leaving an empty heart

Laughing out loud is now lol
Can you be with me is now I am fine thanks
Is it indifference or cry for help

A shut empty wardrobe
With remnants of vague memories
That's what I now call my heart.

Hope

I look back more often
May be you are there
May be I missed a turn
May be you were waiting for me
I cant help
But I still keep looking back
Hoping to see you looking for me
Hoping you are  still around me.

Don't know what to name it

You peer into my eyes
Make me trance
Holding me firm
Leading me to life.

Your name
Spells my life so perfect
The way I always craved.
Your existence
Makes me live
As a blessing untold.

Falling and Rising in Love

Falling in love at first sight is deceiving.
We fall in love with the idea of someone
And not with the one who is receiving.
People only reveal themselves in pieces.
We fill in the gaps, with what we forced ourself into believing.

Rising in love is self revealing.
In midst of silent stolen gazes
When no words are spoken yet more is said than what you intended saying.
You look into their eyes and there is no disguise
The gaps are filled with trust then life is more fulfilling.