Grow some self Respect

Note to Self;

Stop begging for scraps at tables

Where I am not even a guest.

I have spent my pride like pocket change 

On people who don't even know my name.

It is pathetic, this frantic dance I do 

just to be noticed by the indifferent.

Starve that desperate need for a hand to hold.  

it juat makes me weak and hollow.

Look in the mirror at the ghost I have become

while chasing shadows.

Sit in the dirt of my own making 

until I learn to stand up alone.

Existential Loophole

Between a yes and a no

There are a zillion possibilities

But the questions of my life...

Is chaos the choice I make, or merely my destiny?

Is confusion my goal or my natural talent?

Did clarity block me, or did I block it first?

Did I spin the wheel or do I just vibe irresponsibly?

Is life a hesitation, scripted or improvised treason?

And is there a sub-clause in my life's contract 

that pays me extra for being 

this philosophically exhausted?

In Case You Are There..

I look back more often

Maybe you are there

Maybe I missed a turn

Maybe you were waiting for me

I can’t help it

I still keep looking back

Hoping to see you looking for me

Hoping you are still around.

-- Me, looking longingly at the 

rava laddu on the dining table.

Drifting : Slipping away from self

​The tide of thought pulls me away

A phantom in my own history.

I disappear into myself so easily

That it feels unreal to still be held

Inside the warmth of anyone’s memory.

​It might melt me if someone said they missed me

A sudden sun against the winter ice.

I genuinely forget that I am a thought

In anyone’s mind, or that someone like me

Is even worthy of a place where love resides.

Doubt - Toll or Troll

2026

"Being more normal"

well, that was the goal,

But the chaos is winning

and taking its toll.

​Not assuming that

everyone hates me,

Is the mountain

I am trying to hike

​If I trade every doubt

for a moment of peace

I would be the next Dalai Lama,

Finally free from the drama.

** sucks.. nothing rhymes in 2026 **

​One-Star Review of My Own Life

​I curate a digital facade of joy for people

I would actively avoid in the street.

​Then spiral in silence because 

"Engagement" feels like a bitter defeat.

​I am resigning from the need to  persuade

To find a corner where nobody cares.

​Turns out I am the only one watching

This desperate, one-man parade.

Be unarmoured

​Apathy earns no trophy

Shed the armor of "fine"

and let the light leak out

To love loudly is to be brave

You dont get brownie points

To move with no smile

So stop playing hard

To just get by

Share vs Fill

We check on our friends

Not because We have emptiness to fill

But bacause We have moments to share. 

My Little Monster

I have got a little monster, 

tucked away in my head,

I did not try to kick him out, 

I just hid him under my bed. 

He is the one who giggles 

when a friend slips on a peel.

A tiny bit of chaos 

is his favorite kind of meal.

So please do not test the padlock

Or jiggle my locked cage.

Or he will be out there laughing 

While he takes you out in a rage.