​One-Star Review of My Own Life

​I curate a digital facade of joy for people

I would actively avoid in the street.

​Then spiral in silence because 

"Engagement" feels like a bitter defeat.

​I am resigning from the need to  persuade

To find a corner where nobody cares.

​Turns out I am the only one watching

This desperate, one-man parade.

Be unarmoured

​Apathy earns no trophy

Shed the armor of "fine"

and let the light leak out

To love loudly is to be brave

You dont get brownie points

To move with no smile

So stop playing hard

To just get by

Share vs Fill

We check on our friends

Not because We have emptiness to fill

But bacause We have moments to share. 

My Little Monster

I have got a little monster, 

tucked away in my head,

I did not try to kick him out, 

I just hid him under my bed. 

He is the one who giggles 

when a friend slips on a peel.

A tiny bit of chaos 

is his favorite kind of meal.

So please do not test the padlock

Or jiggle my locked cage.

Or he will be out there laughing 

While he takes you out in a rage. 

An Ode to the lasting love

I know we have

Never held hands walking down the streets

Never sang along driving down the east

I know I'm 

Never scared of this distance forever would be

Never doubted an instance whatever may be 

I know You'd

Never deny the hug if we ever meet

Never say good bye before I die in peace

Borrowed Light

The strongest weight you carry is the one

You try to lift alone beneath the sun.

​It is no failure to ask for help

Even the mighty moon

Glows in the borrowed light.

Misjudged

​It is exhausting, this constant negotiation between expectation and reality. 

The weight of carrying a professional image that feels so at odds with my private self. 

When the people I let in the inner circle echo those casual labels.. 

"So boisterous," or "Always has opinion".. it creates a profound sense of isolation. 

A humble expectation that maybe, just maybe, one day, 

preople will truly understand rather than judging the volume of the voice

Ghosting myself forever!

The person I miss the most

Is the person that I used to be

I refuse to recognize this stranger in the mirror

Glazed eyes, probably a familiar face

Chasing dreams that aren't mine,

In arms that hold me, but dont define

Always filling the void in others life

And fading away from their life 

when I am no longer needed

Longing for the heart that I have misplaced

The Quiet of Company

People People everywhere

But not a soul around

We have mastered the art

Of being alone 

We talk about love

But we dont talk love

We talk about life

But we dont talk life

We talk about money 

And we live for money 

We need maps to navigate circles

Our daily highlight is that hot coffee

We chase the couch

With Netflix as guide

Living life but not feeling alive

Being too Nice invites Disrespect

Kindness isnt an open wifi

to latch on and leave when checked

The more I share,  the more I become

the laughing stock of the group chat

Disrespect served with a well meant clap.

Now I Guard my heart with humor,

and plenty of sass

Self-respect comes first 

and, no, you dont have my pass

New Friendships in Middle Age

In middle age, having friends feels like an achievement. 

Trying to make new ones can seem like a small miracl and  often feels socially awkward, 

no matter how genuinely warm or platonic the intentions are. 

‐--------------‐-----------------------------------------------------------

If we were brave, we would say hi. 

If braver, we would actually hang out.

But nope, here we are, just being 

awkwardly curious like confused meerkats 

friendship maybe sprouting, or may be its just mold.

We rehearse casual greetings, 

you probably Google 

“How to avoid creepy strangers?” 

and my courage..

It fled faster than me, from the appraisal with boss.

We nod at shared interests

but really, we are just trying to figure if its 

just another awkward team-building exercise

So basically, two almost friends,

stuck in the most awkward social training montage, with zero popcorn.

Put yourself first

Sometimes we memorize people

Who don't acknowledge our existence. 

Their presence haunts our day

But for them, we are only 

A ghostly acquaintance, left behind.

We need to learn

To let go of the echoes past

And learn to notice ourself,  at last.

An Almost Life

A text almost sent, a word held back

Steps nearly taken, then off the track.

Goodbyes unspoken, feelings concealed,

In silent gaps, our truths revealed.

The almost lives that slip away,

Still shape the hearts we hold today

Tongue Tied Rodeo

My verbal skills? 

A wild rodeo,

Words bounce, 

wont nicely flow.

Grammar is a puzzle, 

missing most bits

Fluent in nonsense, 

with perfect misfits!

Make your way

Comfort that silences question 

Becomes control.

The soft hand smothers

Becomes death grip.

Break the spell

Defy the charm

Only the shattered chain

Can claim the freedom whole

Know your worth

External validation

When we question our worth

In someone else's world

Without it, we shrink

To fit their view

But those who care

Don't need reminders

They reach out, check in

And show they truly see

Healing starts when we stop

Performing for attention

And preserve our energy

For love that's genuine

Heart vs Brain - again

Lust promises power

And delivers dominance

Love promises understanding

And delivers acceptance

Lust craves possession

And delivers aggression 

Love seeks connection

And delivers assertion

Lust fuels obsession

And delivers depression

Love fosters affection

And delivers direction

But this brain still chases fleeting highs

And ignores the heart's silent sighs

Find your value of X

"Iol" 

is this LOL or 

The absolute value of zero?

How did you read it?

Is your engineer self at loss?

Or your calculus mind dint floss?

In the world of interjections

Take a pause

Integrate yourself 

Differentiating the rest

Find your value of X

And let your true self manifest.

Successfully butchered it!! 

Hope - again

Hope is a habit 

We can't break

Its a gentle reminder 

That better is near

Losses

I have lost 

people in my life

some to death

many to my 

sheer inability 

to cross the street.

Losses accumulated

like autumn's fall

Some to eternity's silence

others to silence's wall.

I remained, rooted in place.

The distance between

a heavy, hollow space.